The Fine Art of Small Talk: How to Start a Conversation, Keep It Going, Build Networking Skills and Leave a Positive Impression!
- Downloads：3941
- Type：Epub+TxT+PDF+Mobi
- Create Date：2022-12-26 06:54:20
- Update Date：2025-09-06
- Status：finish
- Author：Debra Fine
- ISBN：1401302262
- Environment：PC/Android/iPhone/iPad/Kindle
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Summary
Trong những bữa tiệc đứng bàn chuyện làm ăn， có phải bạn chỉ biết đi lại loanh quanh cạnh bàn tiệc？ Căng thẳng trong những buổi phỏng vấn xin việc hay chờ ai đó hỏi chuyện trước có đúng là tình trạng của bạn không？ Có phải bạn muốn gây dựng quan hệ nhưng lại không biết bắt đầu từ đâu？ Nếu đúng vậy， đã đến lúc bạn nên đọc The fine art of Small Talk！
Hãy học cách: Bắt đầu cuộc trò chuyện - thậm chí ngay cả khi bạn chẳng có gì để nói; Tránh những khoảnh khắc im lặng， vụng về， lúng túng; Tiếp thu những kĩ năng lắng nghe sẽ giúp bạn trở thành người giao tiếp tốt hơn; Chấm dứt cuộc trò chuyện một cách nhã nhặn; Biến mỗi lần trò chuyện thành cơ hội để gặt gái thành công！
Hãy học cách: Bắt đầu cuộc trò chuyện - thậm chí ngay cả khi bạn chẳng có gì để nói; Tránh những khoảnh khắc im lặng， vụng về， lúng túng; Tiếp thu những kĩ năng lắng nghe sẽ giúp bạn trở thành người giao tiếp tốt hơn; Chấm dứt cuộc trò chuyện một cách nhã nhặn; Biến mỗi lần trò chuyện thành cơ hội để gặt gái thành công！
Reviews
Ivana Mršić
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Felt like writer could’ve dived deeper into some topic or give more explanation why things are consider good or bad。 Overall， easy read and nice introduction to small talk improvements。
Kyle Vanderheide
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This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers。 To view it， click here。 Key Points:If others are comfortable in our presence， they will feel good about doing business with us。Buyers choices of where to spend money are influenced by the presence or absence of rapport。Shyness could be mistaken for arrogance。So what has a typical day been for you lately？When asking for someone’s name put an emphasis on the word name to say no to the other person that they are important。When seated at a large table， introduce newcomers to everyone you’re sitting with to position yoursel Key Points:If others are comfortable in our presence， they will feel good about doing business with us。Buyers choices of where to spend money are influenced by the presence or absence of rapport。Shyness could be mistaken for arrogance。So what has a typical day been for you lately？When asking for someone’s name put an emphasis on the word name to say no to the other person that they are important。When seated at a large table， introduce newcomers to everyone you’re sitting with to position yourself as a leader in the group。Using peoples names will make them feel special。Nonverbal components of a conversation account for 65% of a a conversation effectively。 When an awkward pause occurs ask for advice even if you don’t need it。 Ie。 Which bank do you use I’m thinking about switching， dentist etc， History questions Interview questions A good complement acknowledges the object of admiration。 A top-of-the-line complement goes beyond that to give conversation material by expounding on why you like the item。 For instance， you might elaborate on the sweater by saying I love your sweater， that shade really enhances the color of your eyes。F。O。R。M。Acronym for remembering topics of conversation。 Family， occupation， recreation， miscellaneousIt’s OK at times to share added information about yourself to provide ammo for the next persons question。Most people don’t want advice， they want empathy and compassion。End each conversation with a compliment Ending question: I hope we can do business together soon。 May I call you in the coming days to determine your level of interest？ 。。。more
Callen
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Not terrible。 Not great。 Lots of conversation starters， but not really at the level I was looking for。 Too basic。
Umair
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This is a good piece of work， especially for introverts。 The point where I disagree a bit is， most of the time people are faking the conversation。 Which in fact will no longer be a true conversation。
Anthony
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Awesome bookGreat way to open up and have something to talk about。 Loved the book overall highlighted a lot will be using skills in here for my arsenal
Sipho
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Mostly common sense advice on how to start conversations， keep people engaged and gracefully bow out。The summary chapter is pretty much all you need to take away from this book。
Velavan
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🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌
Lisa
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Great question prompts。 Business focused。
chuqiluo
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lots of common sense， very shallow， don't believe I have learned too much from this book。I wouldn't recommend this book。 lots of common sense， very shallow， don't believe I have learned too much from this book。I wouldn't recommend this book。 。。。more
Qiaoyi Xu
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It's encouraging to learn that topics can be prepared， skills can be honed， and everyone can master the fine art of small talk It's encouraging to learn that topics can be prepared， skills can be honed， and everyone can master the fine art of small talk 。。。more
Sarah
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Really wish I had waited to read the updated version because this one was very outdated。 I guess that’s what I get for picking this up at a used book sale but I wish I had saved my time to read the updated one。
Josh King
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If you asked me 2-3 years ago how I felt about networking events， I’d tell you “love ‘em， piece of cake”。 Now， after a pandemic and switching to remote work， I think we all have become a little rusty。 It was time I got some practice。 I stumbled across this book among a “top 25 books for business professionals” list。 Having understood my social game could use a top up after being secluded for so long， I dove in。 I wish I spent my time with another book。 My social skills could only have gone backw If you asked me 2-3 years ago how I felt about networking events， I’d tell you “love ‘em， piece of cake”。 Now， after a pandemic and switching to remote work， I think we all have become a little rusty。 It was time I got some practice。 I stumbled across this book among a “top 25 books for business professionals” list。 Having understood my social game could use a top up after being secluded for so long， I dove in。 I wish I spent my time with another book。 My social skills could only have gone backwards with this one。 Let me explain why below。The author is an engineer。 As an engineer myself I can only begin to describe the lack of social skills most of my kind have - and it is a bit of a stereotype。 Really， any technical profession lacks in this department as they’re so bogged down with numbers and analytical data they soon start morphing into a computer themselves。 If I were to choose an academic background to write this book， it’d probably be an MBA or something of this sort。 On another note， the author also states she tried becoming a conversationalist after gaining some confidence and divorcing her husband。 This left a bad taste in my mouth。In a chapter on starting a conversation， the author gives some examples of opening lines， encouraging you to try them on a victim。 I use “victim” because I feel sorry for the person who’s approached by someone and asked， “Presidential campaigns seem to start immediately after the inauguration。 What do you think of the campaign process？”。 Or， “If you had to pick someone to play you in a movie， who would it be and why？”。 Yes， these are real examples from the book on lines the author suggests to use。There is some useful stuff in here （obviously it’s not the example opening liners） - more so the useful tidbits are plagiarisms from Dale Carnegie’s ‘How To Win Friends And Influence People’。 Seriously， just read that book instead of this one。 You’ll gain far more insight into the world of socializing。 The last few chapters were confusing （I didn’t DNF， it was so short I had to finish。 And I wanted to see what other hilarious open liners the author gave）。 One was on being single and mingling。 It felt very out of place in a book on small talk in a professional setting。 The author jumps into rants on dating， and how to navigate the scene。 It had me laughing once again at the horrendous advice， one of them being “leave your phone in your car”。 Yeah…don’t do that。 Especially on a first date。 I think what the author was trying to say was “don’t look at your phone while on a date”。 Not “throw away your only lifeline to the outside world if the date goes bad”。 I can barely give this book a one star。 Only reason I did is it gave a page or two of rip off advice from How To Win Friends and Influence People。 Please read that book and not this one。 The Fine Art of Small Talk will only set you back （far） with your socializing skills。 I envision the talking points / opening lines being used in a prank show to make the viewers cringe from awkwardness。 。。。more
Mitch Dubeau
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A book about how to make and enjoy small talk， written by a neurospicy person for neurospicy people。 Good practical advice， so far it has worked in conversations in which I applied it。 Not ground breaking， a bit of fluff esp towards the end， but all around a decent book on the topic。 This book is extremely business oriented， which is sucks because that's not what I was specifically looking for but ah well， someone needs those chapters。 6/10 A book about how to make and enjoy small talk， written by a neurospicy person for neurospicy people。 Good practical advice， so far it has worked in conversations in which I applied it。 Not ground breaking， a bit of fluff esp towards the end， but all around a decent book on the topic。 This book is extremely business oriented， which is sucks because that's not what I was specifically looking for but ah well， someone needs those chapters。 6/10 。。。more
Jonah R。
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Too basic。。 but this may be helpful with introverted people。 especially to those people who don't really have the guts' to speak up。 Too basic。。 but this may be helpful with introverted people。 especially to those people who don't really have the guts' to speak up。 。。。more
Joe
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To summarize: be brave be likable
Tăng Yến
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Tương đối hữu ích với nhiều cách để bắt đầu， khơi gợi trò chuyện với người lạ。 Tác giả cũng đề cập tới một vài vấn đề xung quanh và cách giải quyết như cách rút lui lịch thiệp， gợi ý các chủ đề trò chuyện，。。。 Tuy nhiên một vài câu hỏi gợi ý khá là khiên cưỡng cho một cuộc trò chuyện "small talk" vì khá là sâu và nghiêm túc。 Nhìn chung thì với một đứa thường xuyên câm như hến như mình thì vẫn học được nhiều điều có ích。Link note khi đọc: Notion Tương đối hữu ích với nhiều cách để bắt đầu， khơi gợi trò chuyện với người lạ。 Tác giả cũng đề cập tới một vài vấn đề xung quanh và cách giải quyết như cách rút lui lịch thiệp， gợi ý các chủ đề trò chuyện，。。。 Tuy nhiên một vài câu hỏi gợi ý khá là khiên cưỡng cho một cuộc trò chuyện "small talk" vì khá là sâu và nghiêm túc。 Nhìn chung thì với một đứa thường xuyên câm như hến như mình thì vẫn học được nhiều điều có ích。Link note khi đọc: Notion 。。。more
Darren Sy
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some good tips and insight here and there
Nadeesh Parmar
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Small Talk often gets a bad rap and that for a good reason: it's artificial， deliberate， banal and at times just boring。 However， you can't talk about about god， cosmos or the meaning of life with your conversation partner from the get go， can you？ For the introverted and reserved， it's even harder to grasp the immediacy of being adept at the art of small talk。 It has it's own myriad advantages that can be used across numerous social situations。 Debra chalks down some of the social graces that m Small Talk often gets a bad rap and that for a good reason: it's artificial， deliberate， banal and at times just boring。 However， you can't talk about about god， cosmos or the meaning of life with your conversation partner from the get go， can you？ For the introverted and reserved， it's even harder to grasp the immediacy of being adept at the art of small talk。 It has it's own myriad advantages that can be used across numerous social situations。 Debra chalks down some of the social graces that might help to maintain conversation， especially with strangers。 Everyone enjoys a smile， a handshake and someone who provides you with their complete attention that leaves you 'feeling good'。 All these observations made her are valid until and unless you move into a conversation with confidence， intention and sincere interest in the other person。 Instead of wallowing in anxiety about not knowing what to say， you can you this book to learn some of the intuitive cues and behaviors that can be mastered with practice to finesse through！ 。。。more
Jennifer
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This book is a bit dated。 Our current climate leads to every statement having the potential to be politicized。 The conversation tips need to be updated。 Now that we live in world shaped by covid and everybody stands on a political side， our approach to small talk has significantly changed。 There's a lot of small talk I don't want to hear especially when a person thinks i think a certain way， and my views are the opposite。 No amount of political debate is going to change either one of us thinks。 This book is a bit dated。 Our current climate leads to every statement having the potential to be politicized。 The conversation tips need to be updated。 Now that we live in world shaped by covid and everybody stands on a political side， our approach to small talk has significantly changed。 There's a lot of small talk I don't want to hear especially when a person thinks i think a certain way， and my views are the opposite。 No amount of political debate is going to change either one of us thinks。 It is good to connect with others through conversations， but it is also exhausting。 。。。more
Ramesh Verma
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Thank you so much indeed
Brendan Low
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A helpful refining of my communication intuition as I step into the world of work where small talk abounds！
Valentine Ssebuyungo
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2nd read to brush up my skills。Either learn through experience or learn by re-reading
Natalie Leong
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I find it very hard to finish this book because of the writing style which was incredibly bland， and repeats unimportant parts unnecessarily at times。 Some of the examples and advice the author gave was overly simplistic。
Julie Akeman
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Very helpful book but could use one more up to date and have extra thoughts on text etiquette
Henry Haney
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I read this because I needed help。 I not only find small talk incredibly difficult but it also drains the life out of me like standing in line at the DMV。 😵💫Though the book is a bit repetitive and probably longer than it needs to be， I still found the practical advice helpful。 Mostly what I got out of this book was a value for small talk that I’ve never had before。 The author does a great job at speaking to its purpose and usefulness。 I came away with a new perspective and some new strategies t I read this because I needed help。 I not only find small talk incredibly difficult but it also drains the life out of me like standing in line at the DMV。 😵💫Though the book is a bit repetitive and probably longer than it needs to be， I still found the practical advice helpful。 Mostly what I got out of this book was a value for small talk that I’ve never had before。 The author does a great job at speaking to its purpose and usefulness。 I came away with a new perspective and some new strategies to try out。 。。。more
Zoe
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This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers。 To view it， click here。 Lots of contents are common sense but I still get something very valuable from the book。 For me， the most useful chapters are - chap 2 Get over your mum’s good intentions: some clarifications on common misconceptions about small talks。 The most important idea here is to assume the burden of the conversation- chap 10 The graceful exit: I find the two points very enlightening - getting a referral， and exit with the conversation partner- chap 13 Surviving the singles scene: attitude for a singles e Lots of contents are common sense but I still get something very valuable from the book。 For me， the most useful chapters are - chap 2 Get over your mum’s good intentions: some clarifications on common misconceptions about small talks。 The most important idea here is to assume the burden of the conversation- chap 10 The graceful exit: I find the two points very enlightening - getting a referral， and exit with the conversation partner- chap 13 Surviving the singles scene: attitude for a singles event; how to initiate a date; how to date Otherwise， the book is clearly structured and filled with useful techniques。 The first few chapters （3-5） is about starting the conversation and getting the ball rolling， 6 is about listening， 7-9 about dos and donts， 11 a quick summary， 12 applied the summary to a networking event， 14 some further deepening on the summary， 15 the holiday trick and 16 the ending。 。。。more
Pumpkin pie
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Cuốn sách nhỏ mua trong nhà sách vì muốn cải thiện khả năng small talks và kĩ năng giao tiếp nói chung。 Nhỏ nhưng đọc cũng lâu vì cuốn này mình thử nghiệm vừa đọc vừa note lại trên Notion。Anw， mình thấy trước khi đi vào những tips thì cách tiếp cận từ chương đầu của tác giả là giúp người đọc đánh giá lại sức mạnh của small talks - “không chỉ là chuyện trò vớ vẩn mà có thể kết nối mọi người lại với nhau và có thể khởi đầu cho mọi phản hồi tác động đến cuộc sống của bạn”。 Tác giả còn chỉ ra những Cuốn sách nhỏ mua trong nhà sách vì muốn cải thiện khả năng small talks và kĩ năng giao tiếp nói chung。 Nhỏ nhưng đọc cũng lâu vì cuốn này mình thử nghiệm vừa đọc vừa note lại trên Notion。Anw， mình thấy trước khi đi vào những tips thì cách tiếp cận từ chương đầu của tác giả là giúp người đọc đánh giá lại sức mạnh của small talks - “không chỉ là chuyện trò vớ vẩn mà có thể kết nối mọi người lại với nhau và có thể khởi đầu cho mọi phản hồi tác động đến cuộc sống của bạn”。 Tác giả còn chỉ ra những hành vi có thể truyền tải thông điệp mà mình không mong muốn， ví dụ sự e ngại （nên khôg chào hỏi người quen） phần lớn sẽ bị hiểu nhầm thành kiêu ngạo。 Nói chung vừa thấy trúng tim đen của introvert aka mình， vừa thay đổi cách nhìn nhận của mình về small talks， làm bàn đạp để mấy chương sau mình đọc một cách có tiếp thu hơn。 Mình thích nhất chương Nghe và Chiến lược lắng nghe - “Lắng nghe một cách thấu đáo bao gồm 3 phần: thị giác， ngôn ngữ và lí trí。” Và chương Những hành vi sai lầm trong trò chuyện - chương này liệt kê và mô tả đặc điểm của 8 loại người “tấn công hội thoại” mà mình thấy nhột nhất là “Người hay cắt ngang” với “Người hay khuyên bảo” - “The truth is， most people don’t want advice - they want empathy and compassion。”Ngoài ra， tác giả cũng nhắc đi nhắc lại nhiều lần về sự chân thành trong hội thoại， chứ không chỉ đơn giản là bạn biết cách thực hiện nó như thế nào。Đối với một người ngại nói về bản thân， mình cũng thay đổi suy nghĩ khi tác giả nói rằng “Nguyên tắc của một cuộc trò chuyện hiệu quả là cho đi và nhận lại。 Nếu như bạn chỉ đưa ra những câu hỏi， đối tác trò chuyện sẽ cho là bạn không bình đẳng。” và “Hãy hòa mình một cách duyên dáng vào đám đông”。 Well， đưa ra những “thông tin miễn phí” một cách không self-centered， điểm xuyết vào các câu trả lời， đồng thời phải thể hiện sự quan tâm và đáp lại người nói， thật sự là một nghệ thuật。**My favorite quotes: “Start thinking of strangers as people who can bring new dimensions to your life， not as persons to be feared。”“Most of us are ordinary people just trying to live our lives。 We worry about paying bills， educating kids， our favorite team winning a championship， getting a promotion， caring for elderly parents， taking an occasional vacation， having time for a hobby， and relaxing now and then。 We are more alike than we are different， and our commonality as human beings opens the door for connection and conversation。” 。。。more
Loesje
，
Of het verschil in culturele context zit weet ik niet， maar ik raad niet aan om de ijsbrekers uit dit boek te gebruiken als gespreksstarters。
Sandra Porter
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If you really do have trouble talking to strangers I think this book would have a few helpful hints。
Santo Po
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